Tupac Shakur

"WHERE CAN I FIND THE WORDS TO EXPRESS WHAT I FEEL 4 U!... CAN I SAY I LIKE YOU? NO, BECAUSE ITS 2 WEAK. CAN I SAY I CARE 4 U? NO, BECAUSE ITS MUCH MORE THAN THAT. CAN I SAY I LOVE U? EASILY! BUT THAT WORD SCARES ME SO MUCH."

17-YEAR-OLD TUPAC SHAKUR REVEALS HIS DEEPENING FEELINGS FOR SWEETHEART COSIMA

In the summer of 1988, 17-year-old Tupac Shakur and family moved from Baltimore to Marin City, California. There, Tupac attended Tamalpais High School in nearby Mill Valley, where he poured his creative energies into the award-winning, student-run Ensemble Theatre Company, and perhaps most importantly, The Microphone Sessions, a poetry workshop run by Leila Steinberg. Steinberg quickly recognized the future superstar's talent, and took him under her wing, mentoring him in his writing, and even welcoming him into her family's home for a time. This relationship would prove to be pivotal for Tupac's career; not only did Steinberg help Tupac hone his writing skills, she would become his first manager, organizing a concert for his rap group Strictly Dope, with whom Tupac recorded under the stage name MC New York. Steinberg helped broker Tupac's signing with Atron Gregory, manager of Digital Underground, and in 1990, Tupac joined the group as a roadie and back-up dancer, before going on to debut with them in 1991, under the stage name 2Pac. The rest is history.

Cosima, the recipient of the present letter, was a Sophomore and fellow member of the Ensemble Theatre Company. The pair shared a deep connection at this time, just before and in the beginning stages of Tupac's rise to fame, from their first meeting on Cosima's birthday in October 1988, and lasting for approximately 7-8 months. This, and the other letters offered (see lots 101 & 103-107) reveal a young man with a tender heart who was fiercely passionate and loved people deeply, who was not afraid to express his emotions and believed in clear communication. His ability to love so deeply and express this love so clearly helps to explain the indelible mark he left on the hearts of those who knew him. A printed program for the Ensemble Theatre Company, which lists both of their names is currently on display at the Tupac Wake Me When I'm Free exhibit in Los Angeles, California.

In the present lengthy letter, Tupac eloquently expresses his rapidly growing feelings for Cosima, "I am attracted 2 u like I am attracted 2 no other nor have I ever felt this strong, this quick with anyone! Not Carmen, not Jada [Pinkett], Suzie, anyone!", before admitting his fear that the feeling might not be mutual "Can I say that I love u? Easily! But that word scares me so much I keep waiting for u 2 say 'Tupac, I was just joking about liking you, good-bye!" I could easily say 'Cosima I love you and not feel any doubt in my mind and my heart.' I can feel myself falling in love with u already...". It is evident that Cosima had quite the effect on Tupac, as he writes "Every time I c u I feel butterflies in my chest and the nerves in my body go crazy! I constantly think about making love to u or even kissing u but not just a kiss." Despite Tupac's direct language and his confession of falling in love, the pair had not yet been involved physically at all, as he writes "I'm sure that even when we kiss, it's going to be PASSIONATE! ... I can hardly wait until the time comes when I can just kiss u or touch u..." He continues with some more steamy details before closing with a respectful invitation "Whenever u're ready to explore this part of our relationship, I would be more than happy 2 please u."

Provenance: Courtesy the recipient

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